I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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