Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
