So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
