Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
