You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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