ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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