How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
