i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You are the jesus of drinking
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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