Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
