The maid of honor just puked.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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