First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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