Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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