So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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