Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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