ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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