The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
