Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
