Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
