the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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