Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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