My pussy is not your playground.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize