uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Watching her eat just hurts me
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
