I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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