I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize