my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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