All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
