it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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