how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
