he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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