is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You need a sexual gate keeper
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
