just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
