Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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