your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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