wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
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