Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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