Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
