NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
