Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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