Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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