So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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