I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
