Duck Duck Cougar?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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