Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
im holly from the hills drunk
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
