Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
