32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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