halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My vagina is very pro this idea
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