Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
