I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Vodka?
Forever.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
