He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
