I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
