Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
