i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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