butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
