Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
