So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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