she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
